I have a girlfriend that ive been with for a couple of years and have lived with for a year. She is divorces with three kids. Several months...

Question

I have a girlfriend that ive been with for a couple of years and have lived with for a year. She is divorces with three kids. Several months go we started having issues because of money and began fighting. We never fought around the boys but her ex became privy to our arguing and threatened to take the boys from her. She got scared and move to another apartment for 60 days while she started counseling and got back on her anti anxiety meds. I moved back in and last month she lost her job. Money became a problem again and we started arguing again but handling it much better and getting past things quicker without huge problems. Last night we had some wine and she got drunk and we had am argument that the kids saw. She threatened to leave with her boys and because she had been drinking I called her ex to come pick the boys up. Our fights have never been abusive and we don't break things but we do get loud and sometimes say hurtful things. Now her ex is saying we aren't good for each other and if I'm around them again he will take her boys from her. Can he do that?

Answer

There are couples (married and unmarried) who live together for years and don't (a) get loud nor (b) say hurtful things nor (c) threaten to leave. You should consider the possibility that this woman isn't right for you. In other words, maybe her "ex" is right (he thinks you aren't good for each other), even though you don't like him very much.

If her choice of a "mate" is creating a turbulent environment for her children, yes, that can be a factor in a judge's (or a jury's) decision about custody.