For many years my mother would not tell me or talk to me about my biological father because of her embarrassment of her actions when she was...

Question

For many years my mother would not tell me or talk to me about my biological father because of her embarrassment of her actions when she was younger. Recently, I found out who he was (deceased many years in North Carolina) and would like to put his name on my birth certificate. My mother and I live in Los Angeles, and I was told the matter has to be handled here. There is no DNA available, so would a notarized Affidavit from my mother be sufficient? She is in her 80's and willing to sign it. Of course, the best thing would have been for her to handle this matter correctly in the beginning, but she didn't. She feels helping me now will somehow make up for the mistake she made in the past. Please help. Thank you.

Answer

I don't really understand why you would like to put his name on your birth certificate but I can tell you there are going to be numerous reasons this will be difficult if not impossible. For example, the fact that your mother would swear to it really is not enough if there was anyone who opposed it. When unmarried people have a child, parentage must be established either through consent (voluntarily stating it in on the right form), by operation of law (in CA if you are named the father and do not contest it within 2 years of finding out you have been named), or after genetic testing (DNA). If the man your mother named is now deceased, he may have died without a will and his children would have inherited his estate. If you are now found to be a child because of the birth certificate, it could cause havoc in the probate court because you could claim a share of any inheritance. Pretty likely your new brothers & sisters would oppose you being named as another child if it could result in any of them giving up property or money. In short, having a birth certificate with his name on it would give you legal status that you previously didn't have. There are numerous situations where I could see there being motivation for an opposition to this change to your birth certificate. I don't mean to suggest anything offensive, but just because your mother tells you it was this person, how do you really know? She may not be certain but wanted to give you a name. She may know for sure but named someone else because she is embarrassed about the true identity. I'm not suggesting you assume your elderly mother is lying, just pointing out there are so many problems with trying to add a deceased person to a birth certificate.

Answer

It requires a court order. You can start by reading this page: http://www.cdph.ca.gov/certlic/birthdeathmar/Documents/Affidavit-Birth-PAMPHLET-(11-10)-MERGED.pdf