My Boyfriend and I wish to have a baby. I have a son from my previous marriage. If and when my son wishes to come live with me, could my ex ...

Question

My Boyfriend and I wish to have a baby. I have a son from my previous marriage. If and when my son wishes to come live with me, could my ex husband, should he choose to, use the fact I had a child out of wedlock against me?

Answer

I don't know what county you live in so I can't address it since I don't know the judge in your county. I suggest that you might want to talk to an attorney that knows the judge in your county.

However, I assume that you are paying child support on your first child. If not, your ex can ask that you pay child support on your son. If you have 2 children, the child support on your oldest child would be reduced a little bit because you have a second child. However, you could also be required to provide health insurance (or reimburse your ex for the child's health insurance) for your son in addition to paying the child support. Can you afford this?

If you are not working, it does not matter, you would be ordered to pay minimum wage child support for your son, which would be approximately $200/month. If your boyfriend supports you, then he would have to pay this money. If you get pregnant and cannot work while pregnant, you would still owe this money. If you cannot pay your child support, you could be jailed for non-payment of child support. Plus, it would ruin your credit rating and the ability to purchased a house and/or a vehicle in the future.

Before you have another child, make sure that you can afford the child that is already living. Your oldest child's needs come first before this new baby.

I know that having a new baby with your boyfriend sounds like a great idea, but many women do not understand the problems that can occur - especially when their ex has custody of their child.

I would urge you to talk to an attorney about all the financial and legal possibilities that could occur if you get pregnant. I've seen women end up physically ill due to the stress when their ex learns that they are pregnant and the ex decides to file a modification regarding the child they share. Some women have lost the right to visitation of their children because they were unable to come to court since they were hospitalized & the judge did not believe them. I've heard some really tragic stories in my 20 year law practice. Please don't let this happen to you. Talk to an attorney in person & think about your options before you move forward.

Merry Christmas! All the best to you and your family during this holiday season.